
<!--
var r_text = new Array ();
r_text[0] = "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. --Author Unknown";
r_text[1] = "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. --Drew Carey";
r_text[2] = "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. --Conan O'Brien";
r_text[3] = "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west. --Richard Jeni";
r_text[4] = "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. --Johnny Carson";
r_text[5] = "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. --Jerry Seinfeld";
r_text[6] = "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same. --Oscar Wilde";
r_text[7] = "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself. --Mark Twain";
r_text[8] = "Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased";
r_text[9] = "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. --W. C. Fields";
r_text[10] = "The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch ";
r_text[11] = "The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.";
r_text[12] = "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson";
r_text[13] = "Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?";

var i = Math.floor(14*Math.random())

document.write(r_text[i]);

//-->